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Without The Slave Trade, The Industrial Revolution Wouldn’t Have Happe


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#1 dazzlinglucida

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Posted 24 June 2006 - 03:17 PM

Hello,

On Friday 24th June, I have got an essay to do on the Slave Trade.

Without the slave trade, the Industrial Revolution wouldn’t have happened?

We have to do an essay comparing statements and sources of evidence to give a balanced view (to get a Level 6) and give a conclusion on your views.

Last lesson we made notes from a series of textbooks for what we could use in our test. We have 10 minutes nest lesson (on Friday) to make any other notes and then we have to write the essay.

I am getting slightly worried about it becuase I do get very nervous at tests and exams and plus this essay grade will be our End of Year one. Also because a lot of the other essays where I have got good grades on have been done at home so I'm not having to it within in a specific time and I don't want to let myself down by getting a poor end of year grade when the rest of been positive.

I wondered if someone could find me some links on the Industrial Revolution being linked with the Slave Trade and vica versa and any tips off people who have done this kind of essay before.

Thank you
dazzlinglucida
:D

#2 Mrs Faithorn

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Posted 25 June 2006 - 12:14 AM

Unfortunately your message has not been seen and approved by one of the teachers here until June 25th so I fear we are too late to be of help on this occasion. I do apologise.

However, I am a little bit confused since your message was posted at a time which seemed to be after the date when you say the test is due to take place so I am wondering if you have made a mistake about the day and date?

If this is the case, then do post again with the correct day and date and we can certainly offer you some guidance and help for you to prepare for the test.

#3 dazzlinglucida

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Posted 25 June 2006 - 08:02 AM

Sorry, I put the wrong date it is Friday 30th June.

Thanks

#4 Mrs Faithorn

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Posted 25 June 2006 - 04:19 PM

I thought you may have meant June 30th, in which case you have plenty of time to prepare.

....

Without the slave trade, the Industrial Revolution wouldn't have happened?


Do you see that what your essay title is actually asking you to do is look at all the reasons why the Industrial Revolution took place in Britain and then decide whether the slave trade was so important that the Ind. Rev. couldn't have taken place without it?

I assume that the work you have done in class on this topic means that you already have a list of reasons for the Industrial Revolution? (eg. money available for investment, raw materials needed for industrial development - coal and iron ore, men 'with 'enterprise' willing to take risks with new ideas, a growing population etc)

I also assume that you understand why the slave trade was one of the things that made the Ind. Rev. possible? (briefly: British merchants and plantation owners made a great deal of profit out of the slave trade and thus had money that they could invest in developing industries - textiles, coal mining, iron and steel etc. They also already had trading contacts in various parts of the world that meant importing raw materials such as cotton and exporting manufactured goods was easy.)


I suggest that in the coming week before the test you make an essay plan and that in the 10 minutes you will be allowed before you write the essay that you look at this carefully to remind yourself of what you are going to write.

Your plan should have:
1. An Introduction
- a short paragraph in which you start by writing a one sentence answer to the question (eg. "The Industrial Revolution could have happened without the slave trade"*) and then go on very briefly to explain that there are several reasons for the Industrial Revolution all of which worked together and that your essay is going to consider them all.
* Of course this opening sentence will need to be what you think. I'd have thought you could probably learn this paragraph off by heart before the test so that you can make a really quick beginning.

2. Main Body of the essay:
  • This needs to be several paragraphs long.
  • Each paragraph needs to be about one of the reasons why the Ind. Rev. happened. When you are doing your planning try to put these paragraphs into a logical order. Make sure that you begin each para. with a sentence that links what you are going to say directly to the question. (Eg. "The slave trade was important in helping the Industrial Revolution to happen, but it was not the only reason, nor was it the most important" ... and then go on to explain how the slave trade helped.)
  • You need to explain how that reason helped and say how important you think that factor was.
  • You will need to give factual information from your research to back up what you say.
I wouldn't pratice writing the main body of the essay out in full before the test if I were you, but I would plan in advance what the opening sentence of each paragraph was going to be and to have thought through what I intended to say.

3. Conclusion. This is where you sum up your argument in a few sentences. Obviously it needs to be a logical conclusion to everything you have said earlier. Again, you could practice what you intend to say before the test.

Making a detailed plan in advance like this should help to make sure that you tackle the test with confidence and that you are able to do your very best in the time allowed.

I can find you web sites about the Slave Trade and about the Industrial Revolution, but these are mainly factual description and will actually waste a lot of your time. What your essay needs to be is one that concentrates on explanation and analysis rather than lots of descriptive detail. My best suggestion is that you go carefully through all the notes you have already made as I expect you already have what you need.

I hope that helps? Do post again if you need more help.

PS. Do remember how anxious you were earlier in the year about your Y8 exams and how well you did then. That should give you confidence this time. :)

#5 dazzlinglucida

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Posted 25 June 2006 - 04:34 PM

That essay plan is really going to help and that will defintely make me more confident. I am quite good at learning things off by heart so the introduction and the conclusion should be quite easy and nothing to worry about.


We did a lot of work on the causes on the Industrial Revolution so that is good. Would it be alright if you could find me just on website with the balanced views on saying the slave trade helped or didn't help the Industrial Revolution if there is such a site. If not just the basic reasons because my mind just seems to be going blank and my teacher collected in the notes and we dodn't have our histroy books so really i don't have anything at home to revise or look over from.

Thanks a lot Mrs Faithorn, you have really helped me in coming more confident already about the test.

dazzlinglucida
:D

#6 Mrs Faithorn

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Posted 25 June 2006 - 05:12 PM

That essay plan is really going to help and that will defintely make me more confident. I am quite good at learning things off by heart so the introduction and the conclusion should be quite easy and nothing to worry about.


That's good to hear. As long as you think things through carefully before next Friday and have done the plan you should be fine.

We did a lot of work on the causes on the Industrial Revolution so that is good.


Then can you not remember enough to make a basic list of reasons? The essay you have been set is one that requires understanding of basic ideas - not lots of detailed factual information

Would it be alright if you could find me just on website with the balanced views on saying the slave trade helped or didn't help the Industrial Revolution if there is such a site.


Try these sites. All have a little on the links between the slave trade and the Industrial Revolution (mostly they just state that there is a link). However you are the one who is going to have to decide whether the profits gained from the slave trade were absolutely essential to the development of an Industrial Revolution. That's a matter of opinion, but I suggest you think hard about just how important this money available to invest in new industrial developments really was. Clearly the fact that money for investment was available is very important, but what good would the money have been if Britain had not had eg their own natural resources - coal and iron ore, or men who were interested in developing new machinery and manufacturing ideas etc etc. As I already pointed out it is all the reasons working together that is important in understanding why an Industrial Revolution happened.

See:
http://www.nmm.ac.uk...heme/triangular
http://www.channel4....trade/main.html
http://www.answers.c...rial-revolution .... the language here is quite difficult, though the explanation is more in-depth

If not just the basic reasons because my mind just seems to be going blank and my teacher collected in the notes and we dodn't have our histroy books so really i don't have anything at home to revise or look over from.


On the basic causes/reasons for the Ind. Rev. see:
http://industrialrev....ca/causes.html ... this is quite long winded but it should help
http://en.wikipedia....ence_in_Britain (para on 'Causes for Occurence in Britain'). This has the interesting statistic that "that slavery provided only 5% of the British national income during the years of the Industrial Revolution"

There are more sites but most are at a level way beyond your age. I'm afraid I can't find anything nice and simple very quickly.


Thanks a lot Mrs Faithorn, you have really helped me in coming more confident already about the test.

dazzlinglucida
:D


No problem. Good Luck with this and if you have any more questions do post again.

#7 dazzlinglucida

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Posted 27 June 2006 - 06:09 PM

Thanks again Mrs Faithorn for all your help.

Am I allowed to put my plan og the essay on the forum so you can double check it?

Thanks
dazzlinglucida
:D

#8 Mrs Faithorn

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Posted 27 June 2006 - 07:02 PM

.......

Am I allowed to put my plan og the essay on the forum so you can double check it?

Thanks
dazzlinglucida
:D


Mmmmmm..... well OK - as long as you realise that I am not going to 'correct' it in any great detail as I think that would perhaps be a bit unfair to the rest of the people in your class. Besides, I don't want to encourage other Forum members to think that we are prepared to offer a free marking service here.

#9 dazzlinglucida

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Posted 27 June 2006 - 07:27 PM

Thank you. I appreciate your concern on the matter and it is not approiate to put it on. Thank you yet again for your help. I really do appeciate you help.

#10 Mrs Faithorn

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Posted 27 June 2006 - 07:39 PM

What I actually meant was that I was prepared to allow you to put your essay plan on the Forum, but that I wasn't going to 'correct' it in any great detail - for the reasons I explained. I am quite prepared to make generalised comments about it though.

If you have now had second thoughts about this I respect the maturity you have shown and wish you all good luck with the test on Friday.

All I would add is that if you have followed all the advice I gave before about making an essay plan, then it should be fine.

#11 dazzlinglucida

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Posted 28 June 2006 - 04:47 PM

I will put it on just to generally check it is right.

Introduction

-From essay investigating whther Slave Trade made big enough impact to cause the Industrial revolution
-Assess the reasons
-To help you get a balanced view and form your own.

Main Body of Essay


Now annoyingly our teacher has not allowed us to bring any of our note paper home and also our history books, therfore this is very brief becuase I don't have the resources I need.

Each paragraph= 1 Reason

Put in logical order

Say how important the factor was and how it helped

Have the statement and back it up with evidence

PEE
Point, Evidence, Explain

Make statement
Use evidence
Explain

Argue both sides

Conclusion
sum up argument

I believe that Industrial Revolution could've happened WITHOUT slave trade
Why? (Very brief I know) Becuase only 5% of Birtish Income

I know that the essay plan isn't exactly detailed as such but hopefully you can just make some general comments on it.

Thank you so much

dazzlinglucida
:D

#12 Mrs Faithorn

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Posted 28 June 2006 - 05:55 PM

Introduction

-From essay investigating whther Slave Trade made big enough impact to cause the Industrial revolution
-Assess the reasons
-To help you get a balanced view and form your own.


I assume this is what your teacher told you was the purpose of this essay assessment? But it's not an introduction to the essay question itself.

Take another look at what I said about the introduction to this essay before. .....

a short paragraph in which you start by writing a one sentence answer to the question (eg. "The Industrial Revolution could have happened without the slave trade"*) and then go on very briefly to explain that there are several reasons for the Industrial Revolution all of which worked together and that your essay is going to consider them all.
* Of course this opening sentence will need to be what you think. I'd have thought you could probably learn this paragraph off by heart before the test so that you can make a really quick beginning.


All you need to do here is give a one sentence answer to the question and then go on to say that the Ind Rev has several causes (no need to go into them at this stage) and that your essay is going to show that these causes all worked together rather than the profits from the slave trade being absolutely essential for it to happen.

Main Body of Essay

Now annoyingly our teacher has not allowed us to bring any of our note paper home and also our history books, therfore this is very brief becuase I don't have the resources I need.


Seems very odd to me. However, I have previously given you links where you can remind yourself of what all the causes were. and read up a bit more about the topic. Haven't you used those?

Each paragraph= 1 Reason

Put in logical order

Say how important the factor was and how it helped

Have the statement and back it up with evidence

PEE
Point, Evidence, Explain

Make statement
Use evidence
Explain


This bit is just a repetition of what you have already said in the bit quoted immediately above. ..... though you do need to PEE each paragraph!

Argue both sides


What you need to do is provide 'a balanced view' ie show that the slave trade was important but that other factors were also very important - rather than 'arguing both sides' with this particular essay question.

Conclusion
sum up argument

I believe that Industrial Revolution could've happened WITHOUT slave trade
Why? (Very brief I know) Becuase only 5% of Birtish Income


Your plan looks OK to me - but this is just a plan that could apply to any essay.It lacks any indication of what POINTS, EVIDENCE and EXPLANATION you intend to make. A 'proper' essay plan will have:
1 an outline of what you intend to say in the Introduction (see what I have said about yours above)

THEN ....
2. The first sentence for each of the paragraphs you are going to write (ie the Point) followed by bullet points just briefly listing the Evidence and Explanation you are going to use in note form.

FINALLY...
3. Your Conclusion

I'm not sure that you really understand the point you seem to be trying to make.

As far as I can see you are going to argue that the Ind Rev. could have happened without the slave trade. But do you understand that because the profits from that trade were actually only 5% of British National Income at the time of the Ind Rev. then the money for investment in new industrial developments must therefore have come from other sources as well? Also that no amount of money would have been of any use whatsoever unless there had also been other factors driving the Ind Rev to happen?

SO ... as I have been trying to make clear all along, your 'balanced argument' needs to be that profit from the slave trade was just one factor and that it needed all of the causes working together to ensure that the Ind Rev happened.

Is that a bit clearer?

#13 dazzlinglucida

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Posted 29 June 2006 - 04:54 PM

Yes it is.
Thanks for all your help.
I will let you know when I get the result.
Thanks
dazzlinglucida
:D

#14 Mrs Faithorn

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Posted 29 June 2006 - 11:28 PM

Good Luck on Friday, then. I'm sure you'll be fine .... and do let us know how you got on.

#15 dazzlinglucida

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Posted 16 July 2006 - 10:25 AM

Hello Mrs Faithorn,

I got my results back on Friday for the essay:-

L6A/7C
2 MERIT MARKS
Well developed conclusion


On the day, my teacher actually gave us the essay plan she wanted us to follow and it was fairly easy.

Thanks for all the help you gave me.

dazzlinglucida
:D




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