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Hello everyone,
At school we each picked our own question on World War One amd I chose 'Why was World War One Succeeded so Closely by World War Two?'. As I am finding out, there are many reasons why, all of which need to be covered in some detail as I am trying to link all the causes of World War Two to World War One, which requires analysing each thoroughly. The points I am aware of that I am currently basing my essay on are:
I- The Treaty of Versailles
II- International Economics (esp. German hyperinflation of 1923 and the Wall Street Crash 1929)
III- German Politics (encompassing issues with the German Republic, the rise of Nazism and political violence) and also British and French policies of appeasement
IV- Germany's national conscience (Germany's history- i.e that Germany has historically been very militaric particularly Otto Bismarck and Prussia)
V- The failure of the League of Nations to stop Germany's expansionism as soon as Hitler's ideas of Lebensraum came to light
As I research them more, I am rapidly discovering that each should be a topic in its own right. At present, I have done an introduction and the Treaty of Versailles. Do you know of any points I have missed out of my list of five? I know nothing more than general knowledge about the other points, please could you suggest some good (web-based) sources (I am wary of wikipedia after it was shown somewhere (BBC?) how unreliable it can be).
How frequently is it necessary to justify what you are saying in longer essays? I have seen in published books that the author references every fact they use other than personal opinion- is this necessary for my essay?
Also, I have made some comparisons between Berlin's violence and Iraq currently, would this be accurate? The following is an extract of what I said about it:
On the streets of Berlin there was political violence between the Freikorps on the extreme right wing, ex-soldiers who wanted a military leader, and Communists on the extreme left who wanted state control of resources ... [this is comparable to the prsent situation in Iraq:] The people of Iraq were used to a strong military government (run by Sadaam Hussein). When he was taken from power the two main branches of Islam: Sunnis and Shiites, began to fight, causing some commentators to liken the situation in Iraq to civil war.
I have a feeling that there may be something wrong with that comparison...
Finally, I would like to give an example from my essay (the start of the introduction) to give an indication of my writing and i would ask if it is too emotive?
World War One was followed after twenty years (a short period of time for the upheaval that was contained in those two decades) by the Second World War. Two such cataclysmic events occurring so closely cannot feasibly be coincidental and the causes of World War Two can all be linked, either directly or secondarily, to the effects of World War One. The main reasons why world war one was succeeded so closely by world war two are: the Treaty of Versailles, international economics, German (and to an extent British and French) politics, Germany's national conscience and wars preceding World War Two, destroying faith in the League of Nations.
To surmise (I am confusing even myself here) I would like help with the follwoing and anything else you think might help me in this, sizeable, essay:
1. Have I missed out any points for why ww2 happened so soon after ww1 ?
2. Can you suggest some good sources for me to develop a good understanding of my points?
3. Should I reference the sources from which I got even the simplest facts?
4. Is my comparison with Iraq correct?
5. Is my inttroduction too emotive?
Thank you for any help and advice you may be able to offer.
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Why Was World War One Succeeded So Closely By World War Two? I need some clarification and advice on writing a longer essay please.
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#2
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Posted 28 December 2007 - 09:19 AM
Well. Flyingredd, the first thing I have got to say is that you have thought VERY deeply about this essay already, and that what you are planning seems very impressive.
To address your points:
You are right, this is a HUGE question, because it is basically asking 'what were the causes of WWII?'!
This page - http://www.johndclar...oadtoWWII7a.htm - and the 'Road to War' section of my website will give you all you need to know to do a decent answer,but you might also want to think about this webpage for a whole lot more ideas about causes.
However, remember that the importance of all five factors is debatable. There are, for instance, historians who think the ToV was a very good Treaty and that it was hardly responsible at all for WWII. Similarly, the role of German militarism on causing the war was the theory of AJP Taylor and is hotly debated.
Thus, for each 'section' of your essay:
1. you need to explain, not just HOW it help to start the war but also 'HOW IMPORTANT' different historians have suggested it was.
2. you therefore need to address the historiography of the causes of the war (see the notes towards the end of this page).
I think you would go mad if you tried to footnote every fact and the truth is that, at GCSE, even a 'list of books consulted' at the end will probably be more than most of your classmates do.
If I were doing it:
1. I would give a 'list of books and webpages used' at the end of the essay. NOTE: Don't forget to cite the History Help forum - especially if this is a coursework essay to be entered in the exam.
2. Where, in the text, I cited an IDEA that was not my own I would allocate it a name - e.g. 'as the historian AJP Taylor suggests...'/ 'As the JohnDClare website says...'
3. Where, in the text, you quote someone, always give Name + Book/webpage + (date).
If you are writing a typical GCSE essay, you will be 'PEE-ing' every paragraph - ie you will be making your Point, proving it by giving factual Evidence, and then Explaining how that point helps to answer the question.
At GCSE, the bit that gets you into the higher grades is the Explaining bit! And during that 'explaining' there is nothing wrong at all - indeed, I would strongly recommend it - with you as part of that explanation saying 'it's like Sunnis and Shiites in Iraq today...' To do so shows that you understand what was going on in the past and are making links to today and will help the examiner/reader understand your point. So yes, do it!
The only reservation I would have would be to remind you that the modern comparison is only part of your explanation of how Nazi-v-Communist clashes in Germany helped cause WWII. Remember that your essay is about what caused WWII, NOT 'how the situation in Iraq today mirrors this', or 'what I think about Iraq today'. ie keep your essay focussed on the question, and don;t 'go off on one' about Iraq. The modern comparison must be only a means-to-an-end, not an essay in itself!
This is fine for an introduction - there is no harm in showing the examiner that you can use the English laguage. And good control of language will be especially useful in the 'explaining' sections of your paragraphs/sections. However, don't forget that later PEEing paragraphs must also 'get down to business' - making points, citing facts.
Does this help -get back to us if you need to come back on any of this.
To address your points:
Flyingredd, on Dec 27 2007, 04:06 PM, said:
Do you know of any points I have missed out of my list of five? I know nothing more than general knowledge about the other points, please could you suggest some good (web-based) sources (I am wary of wikipedia after it was shown somewhere (BBC?) how unreliable it can be).
This page - http://www.johndclar...oadtoWWII7a.htm - and the 'Road to War' section of my website will give you all you need to know to do a decent answer,but you might also want to think about this webpage for a whole lot more ideas about causes.
However, remember that the importance of all five factors is debatable. There are, for instance, historians who think the ToV was a very good Treaty and that it was hardly responsible at all for WWII. Similarly, the role of German militarism on causing the war was the theory of AJP Taylor and is hotly debated.
Thus, for each 'section' of your essay:
1. you need to explain, not just HOW it help to start the war but also 'HOW IMPORTANT' different historians have suggested it was.
2. you therefore need to address the historiography of the causes of the war (see the notes towards the end of this page).
Quote
How frequently is it necessary to justify what you are saying in longer essays? I have seen in published books that the author references every fact they use other than personal opinion- is this necessary for my essay?
If I were doing it:
1. I would give a 'list of books and webpages used' at the end of the essay. NOTE: Don't forget to cite the History Help forum - especially if this is a coursework essay to be entered in the exam.
2. Where, in the text, I cited an IDEA that was not my own I would allocate it a name - e.g. 'as the historian AJP Taylor suggests...'/ 'As the JohnDClare website says...'
3. Where, in the text, you quote someone, always give Name + Book/webpage + (date).
Quote
Also, I have made some comparisons between Berlin's violence and Iraq currently, would this be accurate? ... I have a feeling that there may be something wrong with that comparison...
At GCSE, the bit that gets you into the higher grades is the Explaining bit! And during that 'explaining' there is nothing wrong at all - indeed, I would strongly recommend it - with you as part of that explanation saying 'it's like Sunnis and Shiites in Iraq today...' To do so shows that you understand what was going on in the past and are making links to today and will help the examiner/reader understand your point. So yes, do it!
The only reservation I would have would be to remind you that the modern comparison is only part of your explanation of how Nazi-v-Communist clashes in Germany helped cause WWII. Remember that your essay is about what caused WWII, NOT 'how the situation in Iraq today mirrors this', or 'what I think about Iraq today'. ie keep your essay focussed on the question, and don;t 'go off on one' about Iraq. The modern comparison must be only a means-to-an-end, not an essay in itself!
Quote
Finally, I would like to give an example from my essay (the start of the introduction) to give an indication of my writing and i would ask if it is too emotive?
World War One was followed after twenty years (a short period of time for the upheaval that was contained in those two decades) by the Second World War. Two such cataclysmic events occurring so closely cannot feasibly be coincidental and the causes of World War Two can all be linked, either directly or secondarily, to the effects of World War One. The main reasons why world war one was succeeded so closely by world war two are: the Treaty of Versailles, international economics, German (and to an extent British and French) politics, Germany's national conscience and wars preceding World War Two, destroying faith in the League of Nations.
World War One was followed after twenty years (a short period of time for the upheaval that was contained in those two decades) by the Second World War. Two such cataclysmic events occurring so closely cannot feasibly be coincidental and the causes of World War Two can all be linked, either directly or secondarily, to the effects of World War One. The main reasons why world war one was succeeded so closely by world war two are: the Treaty of Versailles, international economics, German (and to an extent British and French) politics, Germany's national conscience and wars preceding World War Two, destroying faith in the League of Nations.
Does this help -get back to us if you need to come back on any of this.
#3
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Posted 28 December 2007 - 01:17 PM
Thank you for the help,
I am wary of thinking of the topic as What were the Causes of World War Two- I would rather think of it more as How do the effects of World War One link to the causes of World War Two. For example, rather than discuss Hitler in great depth, I would try to explain how the effects of WW1 led to him gaining power. This is the part I am finding difficult; linking effects to causes (especially with the Wall Street Crash- are you aware of any websites that show a way in which the Wall Street Crash's start was contributed to by WW1?).
When I wrote about the treaty of Versailles I argued that the only presented alternative (Wilson's 14 points) were idealistic and unfeasible. I argued the other way, that if Germany was left alone after the war that she would only have been more able to go to war- but would hitler have been able to get power without germany being weak? Is this balanced enough?
When I discuss militarism I will take points from those in favour of Taylor's ideas and those against, also incorporating my own ideas to form my section on national conscience. Thank you for this lead in particular.
The idea i was trying to convey with my Iraq analogy was to show how unpleasant Berlin was as most are familiar with the situation in Iraq.
Thanks for the clarification on the bibliography- is it necessary to quote the website if I only take a primary source (like Wilson's points) from it?
Finally, thank you for the links to your website with the road to war etc. They will be a useful springboard for me to find more detailed sources on (I have already covered the Treaty in a lot of detail, it would be shame to break that trend wouldn't it?).
Oh, I'll just point out that this isn't GCSE. I'm in year 9 and was confused by the 14-16 on the forum description.
I'm sure I'll find more to ask about as I cover Weimar, economics, nazism, foreign policy... I'm starting to see how long this will take, but I'm kind of enjoying it(at least for as long as its rainy!).
Thanks again.
I am wary of thinking of the topic as What were the Causes of World War Two- I would rather think of it more as How do the effects of World War One link to the causes of World War Two. For example, rather than discuss Hitler in great depth, I would try to explain how the effects of WW1 led to him gaining power. This is the part I am finding difficult; linking effects to causes (especially with the Wall Street Crash- are you aware of any websites that show a way in which the Wall Street Crash's start was contributed to by WW1?).
When I wrote about the treaty of Versailles I argued that the only presented alternative (Wilson's 14 points) were idealistic and unfeasible. I argued the other way, that if Germany was left alone after the war that she would only have been more able to go to war- but would hitler have been able to get power without germany being weak? Is this balanced enough?
When I discuss militarism I will take points from those in favour of Taylor's ideas and those against, also incorporating my own ideas to form my section on national conscience. Thank you for this lead in particular.
The idea i was trying to convey with my Iraq analogy was to show how unpleasant Berlin was as most are familiar with the situation in Iraq.
Thanks for the clarification on the bibliography- is it necessary to quote the website if I only take a primary source (like Wilson's points) from it?
Finally, thank you for the links to your website with the road to war etc. They will be a useful springboard for me to find more detailed sources on (I have already covered the Treaty in a lot of detail, it would be shame to break that trend wouldn't it?).
Oh, I'll just point out that this isn't GCSE. I'm in year 9 and was confused by the 14-16 on the forum description.
I'm sure I'll find more to ask about as I cover Weimar, economics, nazism, foreign policy... I'm starting to see how long this will take, but I'm kind of enjoying it(at least for as long as its rainy!).
Thanks again.
#4
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Posted 28 December 2007 - 01:55 PM
Again, the first thing I have to say is that all this sounds AOK - especially if you are in Year 9.
A very good bit of research!
That's fine, but be careful. 'Why there was only 25 years between WWI and WWII' is a different question altogether than 'How did WWI lead to WWII'.
No, and I suspect there won't be. I'm not sure the Crash was in any meaningful way linked to WWI.
When you do this essay, you will find that some causes of WWII can be linked back to WWI ... but others can't. I suspect that this is one which can't.
Yes - both sides put.
No - in such a case you would ascribe to (e.g.): 'Woodrow Wilson, Speech in San Pueblo (1919)'
Enjoy! You seem to be doing great.
A very good bit of research!
Flyingredd, on Dec 28 2007, 01:17 PM, said:
I am wary of thinking of the topic as What were the Causes of World War Two- I would rather think of it more as How do the effects of World War One link to the causes of World War Two. For example, rather than discuss Hitler in great depth, I would try to explain how the effects of WW1 led to him gaining power.
Quote
This is the part I am finding difficult; linking effects to causes (especially with the Wall Street Crash- are you aware of any websites that show a way in which the Wall Street Crash's start was contributed to by WW1?).
When you do this essay, you will find that some causes of WWII can be linked back to WWI ... but others can't. I suspect that this is one which can't.
Quote
When I wrote about the treaty of Versailles I argued that the only presented alternative (Wilson's 14 points) were idealistic and unfeasible. I argued the other way, that if Germany was left alone after the war that she would only have been more able to go to war- but would hitler have been able to get power without germany being weak? Is this balanced enough?
Quote
is it necessary to quote the website if I only take a primary source (like Wilson's points) from it?
Enjoy! You seem to be doing great.
#5
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Posted 29 December 2007 - 11:26 AM
Thanks for the help,
I finally finished it. I am unaware of way of posting an attachment so i'll just paste what I've done her and hope it fits! The images aren't there so it may seem a bit odd when I talk about the propaganda poster! This is only my first draft and i would be happy to change stuff. I don't know if anyone wants to read it, it is quite long, but hopefully someone will and have suggestions for how I can make it better.
Why was World War One Succeeded so Closely by World War Two?
[text of a VERY LONG essay follows - deleted by Mr Clare]
I finally finished it. I am unaware of way of posting an attachment so i'll just paste what I've done her and hope it fits! The images aren't there so it may seem a bit odd when I talk about the propaganda poster! This is only my first draft and i would be happy to change stuff. I don't know if anyone wants to read it, it is quite long, but hopefully someone will and have suggestions for how I can make it better.
Why was World War One Succeeded so Closely by World War Two?
[text of a VERY LONG essay follows - deleted by Mr Clare]
#6
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Posted 03 January 2008 - 11:16 PM
Flyingredd - you've since posted an extensive reply which is basically your entire essay. I'm really sorry but we simply cannot allow that post through. The aim of this forum is to support students with their history homework and provide advice how to complete additional history tasks. It is run entirely by teachers in what limited free time they have. Consequently if we allow students to post essays and then establish the expectation that they will be read and marked we would create a situation where the forum simply couldn't function.
You have clearly worked hard on your essay. How about taking this first draft to your own teacher? Discuss the work with them - I know for one I'd be delighted for a student to bring work before a deadline and then ask for ideas how to develop it further. I'd suggest doing that!
You have clearly worked hard on your essay. How about taking this first draft to your own teacher? Discuss the work with them - I know for one I'd be delighted for a student to bring work before a deadline and then ask for ideas how to develop it further. I'd suggest doing that!
#7
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Posted 04 January 2008 - 11:41 AM
Yeah I posted it a bit optimistically. I'm on holiday so I can't ask my teacher. Usually I would ask my parents but I went in to a lot of detail so they weren't able to help. Its just I think I could do well on this essay with the help of a knowledgeable proof reader. I explained I didn't expect a reply that much. Mr. Clare did seem quite interested though...
My main thought was that someone who isn't a teAcher would say something.
Thanks mr. Clare for your help- it really left me free of finding sources to think about what I was writing.
My main thought was that someone who isn't a teAcher would say something.
Thanks mr. Clare for your help- it really left me free of finding sources to think about what I was writing.
#8
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Posted 05 January 2008 - 02:43 PM
Thanks Flyingred.
Mr Field was absolutely correct - we don't comment on whole essays on the forum ... that's something only your own teacher can do.
Having said that, I glanced through your essay, and I thought it was a fabulous attempt at the question.
I think your teacher will be delighted.
Two points only:
1. I wouldn't quote the full 14 points in the essay. Instead, when you refer to them later in the text, pop in brackets what each pijtn said).
2. Have you explained clearly enough for each of your ideas how what you are talking about led to WWII? Now be careful here - I MAY have just missed the important bits when I skim-read the essay. Nevertheless, you may just want to glance through and see if you ned to add ocasional sentences which begin: 'So, therefore, this led WWII to break out because...'
Well done - you are a very able historian - a delight to help on the forum.
Mr Field was absolutely correct - we don't comment on whole essays on the forum ... that's something only your own teacher can do.
Having said that, I glanced through your essay, and I thought it was a fabulous attempt at the question.
I think your teacher will be delighted.
Two points only:
1. I wouldn't quote the full 14 points in the essay. Instead, when you refer to them later in the text, pop in brackets what each pijtn said).
2. Have you explained clearly enough for each of your ideas how what you are talking about led to WWII? Now be careful here - I MAY have just missed the important bits when I skim-read the essay. Nevertheless, you may just want to glance through and see if you ned to add ocasional sentences which begin: 'So, therefore, this led WWII to break out because...'
Well done - you are a very able historian - a delight to help on the forum.
#9
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Posted 05 January 2008 - 10:37 PM
MrJohnDClare, on Jan 5 2008, 02:43 PM, said:
Thanks Flyingred.
Mr Field was absolutely correct - we don't comment on whole essays on the forum ... that's something only your own teacher can do.
Having said that, I glanced through your essay, and I thought it was a fabulous attempt at the question.
I think your teacher will be delighted.
Two points only:
1. I wouldn't quote the full 14 points in the essay. Instead, when you refer to them later in the text, pop in brackets what each pijtn said).
2. Have you explained clearly enough for each of your ideas how what you are talking about led to WWII? Now be careful here - I MAY have just missed the important bits when I skim-read the essay. Nevertheless, you may just want to glance through and see if you ned to add ocasional sentences which begin: 'So, therefore, this led WWII to break out because...'
Well done - you are a very able historian - a delight to help on the forum.
Mr Field was absolutely correct - we don't comment on whole essays on the forum ... that's something only your own teacher can do.
Having said that, I glanced through your essay, and I thought it was a fabulous attempt at the question.
I think your teacher will be delighted.
Two points only:
1. I wouldn't quote the full 14 points in the essay. Instead, when you refer to them later in the text, pop in brackets what each pijtn said).
2. Have you explained clearly enough for each of your ideas how what you are talking about led to WWII? Now be careful here - I MAY have just missed the important bits when I skim-read the essay. Nevertheless, you may just want to glance through and see if you ned to add ocasional sentences which begin: 'So, therefore, this led WWII to break out because...'
Well done - you are a very able historian - a delight to help on the forum.
Thanks for your kind words, and again, help. The two points you made are completely valid. I appreciate the time it must have taken to skim it so cheers! Sorry for the brief repply I'm doing this on my phone.
I'd just like to say what a great forum this and if you don't mind I'll happily return, especially next year when I can go in to depth like this more!
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